engaged!

amazing excitement.

chris and i went to hawaii for vacation and the greatest surprise in the world happened.
sitting on the lanai, enjoying the beauty of the ocean, admiring the palm trees, watching the surfers, drinking my coke and she hands me a card.

we have always given each other cards. for special occasions and not. just because. sometimes we read cards to each other in the store. just for fun.

i opened the card. then i realized it was personal. it was just for me. it was the story of us. how we grew up on opposite ends of the country and one day we joined our hearts together.

and then the question.

she asked me to marry her and

i said YES!

yes to the rest of my life as us.

And we're back! What a great week! We spent a week in Kelowna and had a lot of fun. There are so many wineries to pick from so we chose 3 of our faves to go and have a tour or tasting. Interesting process to watch. Met lots of nice people who were doing the same thing.


Boat cruise on the lake with live jazz one night. The weather was perfect. Music was great and the food was excellent.

After we left Kelowna we drove through OK Falls and onto Osoyoos. Stayed at a wonderful place right across the street from the lake. The Canucks game was on so we watched that and cheered our team to victory!

It's back to work now but it sure was nice to have a week off.

It's time for a break. The past few months have been such a blur of travelling back and forth to Abby, back and forth to work full time, back on night shift and not seeing each other Monday to Friday, we need a break.

So, thanks to the generosity of my friend Christine we are heading to Kelowna to use her time share for the week. Pray for nice weather. Time to relax, renew, refresh and just hang out with each other, doing what we do best.

Aloha!

No, not Hawaii (for now) but the Okanagan. But the picture was taken in Hawaii at one of my fave hang-outs, Moose's.

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been special with BB and I as I was born on Mother's Day. Every so many years my birthday falls on MD but we always have had a special celebration because of it. Chris's birthday is May 4 so since she's been around we have made it a 3 way celebration.

Chris and BB have been friends from the start. I've started reading some of BB's journals and I found the entry for the first time she met Chris. It said "met Chris today, she is very nice, fits nicely in our family". And that's a compliment! Chris has always treated my mom with a great deal of love and respect and over these past couple of months without my mom knowing it, Chris has given me a great deal of emotional support. She's taken time off work to be with us as BB transitioned to the Facility, spent countless hours in the hospital visiting her and has been to visit her when I haven't been able to.

I am thankful for a Godly, loving mom that I have known all of these years. She raised me in the love of the Lord and learning how to do things "proper" BB has a wonderful sense of humour and even now as her mind is quickly fading away her humour is constant making nurses laugh.

This is a different Mother's Day for sure, the first one with a mother present in body but not in mind.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. I love you very much.

Life just seems to be moving so fast these days. I can't keep up. BB had another fall and now has a giant goose egg on the back of her head. She isn't sleeping at night so they've put her in a private room hoping that the quietness will give her some peace. She's very restless and has a hard time making sentences make sense at all. They've diagnosed her with Alzheimers so she's getting medication for that.

I'm now looking at putting her on a list to get to a facility closer to my home. She has always wanted to stay in Abbotsford where she has lived the past 27 years because she loves it there and has a wide social network. But now she doesn't seem to know any of her friends or recognize that they have visited.

Now it's time to let go of her apartment and close that chapter of her life. Very sad.
I'm not sure what the next step should be. Oh Lord, give me wisdom.

Becky came for an unexpected visit this weekend. What a joy this little dog is. Her presence lights up a room. When we were visiting my mom in the Hospital a couple of weeks ago Becky was with us. We pushed BB's w/c to the lobby/seating area and little bb did her very best to bring cheer and life to a frail old lady.

2 very special BB's. One in a Care Facility looking out the window wondering when the Lord will take her home. And one little bb bringing life and light to the darkness with her sweet spirit and gentle nature.

God has put some really special people in my life and I am thankful for friends who send me encouraging notes, phone calls, visits just to say they love me. Chris is amazing and I am forever thankful for her strong support.

Loving all of you.

Because He lives I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives all fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
My life is worth the living
Just because He lives.

BB went into a full time extended health facility yesterday. it was one of the hardest days of my life. Leaving her behind to find her way in her new place without any familiarity. She's so confused. A shadow of her former self.

I signed the papers today with the powers that be and went home and had a good cry.

Not a great day. Bless BB Lord. Give her strength for this new path to follow. She belongs to You. You alone are her Rock and Shield.

Lost in Translation

Yesterday I got an email from a cousin in Holland asking about my mom's health. I had to laugh. I had written a cousin from the other side of the family to let my dad's side know what was up with BB. The only contact I have there is with my aunt who doesn't speak any English. My cousin was nice enough to write her a note.

My aunt was of course wanting more information so knowing her son speaks some English, got him to write me.

What I received was..."we hear it is difficult for Tante B who has fallen. Also she is now mentally retarded."

Not quite what I was thinking.......yesterday Chris went on her own to visit her. BB told her all about the orchards she was planting. Gotta love her. I appreciate Chris visiting her though and spending time with her.

BB is becoming a shadow of her former self. She's losing her mental capabilities as well as her physical. Her memory is quickly fading and she's asking questions that she well knows the answer to.

Yesterday we were sitting in the lobby of the hospital talking about Hawaii and how she likes to sit in the lobby of the hotel where we stay and all of a sudden she says ' how come John hasn't come to visit me?' I just looked at her and said, "really Mom? do you remember what happened to John?" then she started to cry as she remembered he passed away.

She has a very good team of social workers, OT, PT, Dr.s and Health Care Liasons. We are praying for the very best spot to open up for her.

BB, be at peace. God has it all under control.

BB has now moved to Acute Care for Elderly, the ACE ward. She has a private room and more nursing care. She will stay there until there is room for her in rehab somewhere else.

She is more confused and anxious about why she's there than anything else. I have been to the hospital every day and getting a little weary. Next week I will have to taper my visits down to every other day because the following week I am going back to work on a graduated basis.

So much life happening around here right now. Lord, give us strength.

BB is in hospital after suffering a fall last week. She has a fractured pelvis (in 2 places) so we are at a loss right now as to what will happen next. The only thing we know for sure is that she cannot live alone any longer.

Life has changed for her. No more independance. I pray that this time of her life will be less painful for her than she imagined. She has always dreaded this day. The day when she could no longer get up and get herself a cup of coffee.

BB you fought a good fight, the battle isn't over yet and the victory isn't yours. Not yet.

BB is staying with a friend who provides care in her home for seniors. I don't know how long she will be there - it may turn into long term, we'll have to assess the situation later. I am waiting to talk to the Health Care Nurse for an official assessment to see what resources are available to her.

Chris has been amazing and I appreciate her support so much. I know she doesn't always agree with decisions being made concerning my mom but she stands by me and loves me through it all. I am very thankful for her.

So much confusion for the old girl. She couldn't get her phone to work on Monday, couldn't get anyone on the phone, very mixed up and very tired of being confused. She's just tired of everything.

One of her favorite songs is an old gospel hymn " I know not what the future holds but I know who holds the future". So true in this time of her life.

Be at peace BB, God's got it all under control.

BB

For the past little while I have noticed a change in my mom, BB. She often gets confused and mixed up about the little things in life, never mind the bigger things. She's depressed and getting quite withdrawn, preferring to live in her own little world.

Then I noticed her prescription for her thyroid pills hadn't been filled and I thought they should have. She has been on thyroid rx since I was young. No other meds, just thyroid. So I asked her about them. And the answer I got wasn't very positive so I took things in my own hands and got her prescription filled.

That was Wednesday. Yesterday as we were just heading out the door for breakfast I got a panicky phone call from the lady who picks my mom up for church. She was at my mom's door and the neighbour let her in when she didn't respond to the loud pounding on the door. Only to find my mom laying in bed not wanting to wake up. So not like BB, who has always been a morning person.

After awhile we were able to get her up and moving around. I gave her a nice hot shower and washed her hair and put her back into some clean night clothes. Chris changed the sheets on her bed and we made her some dinner.

So confused, so mixed up, doesn't know where she is sometimes. And it's just so hard seeing her like this, knowing this is the end of her life.

Love you BB.

"May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us."

Yippee!

Scored 90% on my Travel Services Module.............signed up for Tour Operations starting next week.

Onward and upward!

and another travel and tourism module done! i just wrote my final exam for Travel Products and Administration. it wasn't too bad. i didn't come home with the sick feeling in my stomach like i did last time.

i gave my power point presentation on saturday. it was a 3 island eco-tour of hawaii. it went well, i had fun doing it and scored 100%! yeah me!

life is humming along..........spent valentine's day with chris's parents here for the weekend. but the visit went well and no blood was shed. no lives lost. no feelings hurt. all good. progress. baby steps.

still going to physio but skipped the pool this week, had to fit some time in for studying. saw my mom and got her meals organized.

now its time to get caught up on some serious pvr'ing.

peace out.

Happy Valentine's Day

Through the years..................


the year it began.............2003


first trip together............holland.....2004


fun summer cruise..........2007?




....mexico..2009


thanksgiving....2010


"Love me without fear
Trust me without questioning
Need me without demanding
Want me without restrictions
Accept me without change
Desire me without inhibitions
For a love so free. . .
Will never fly away.
~ Dick Sutphen, writer

Happy Valentine's Day to the one I love.

143

Identity Theft

and the good news is..........I went to see the orthopedic specialist on Monday and because of the progress I've made since I saw him the end of November, I don't need surgery!

really relieved about this......the physiotherapist i have been seeing since the end of november has made a huge difference as well as being in the pool 2x a week for more exercise......move those muscles!

the focus now is on strengthening and stretching but my arm is moving more all the time and less pain as i stretch it further and further.

what a relief! i am off work for another couple of months but very thankful for the benefits that arrive every other week.

it feels like forever since i've driven a bus but i'm finally able to close a car door from inside and roll down a window, a huge leap for me! not sure if i can pull open the hood of a big bus but it's comin'.

in the meantime, i am really enjoying going to school and learning all about the travel and tourism industry. i present my final project on saturday on guess where?
hawaii of course. i just do what i know.

laters..............

Lethal Luau

Finally! We went to a Murder Mystery! Something we've wanted to do forever. Perfect theme for us.........Lethal Luau. I was Suzy Curl, fashion model/surfer deeply concerned about the environment and Chris was Gil Agin, our happy go lucky skipper who did everything the Captain wanted her to do. So much fun!

Recently I started the world of continuing education. A world very strange to me as the most challenging course I have taken since graduating from College many years ago has been cooking. And a Ms Fix-It class. Nothing challenging to the brain and certainly nothing requiring homework.

Since November I have started working on becoming certified as a Travel Consultant. My current Module is Travel Products and Administration. I finished the Tourism Professional course with a mark of 94%. I'm enjoying the challenge of studying and working on projects.

So much fun exploring the world of travel and if there's one thing we like to do it's travel!

From Benson

I'm feeling much better thank you. Although I really didn't enjoy my visit to the hospital the nurses told my mom I was gentle and quiet. I am back to my old self of playing hockey in the kitchen with bottle caps, chasing my brother down the hall, cuddling up with Mommy C and chasing the monsters away from the front door.

Benson

Our sweet little boy Benson had (what we think) a seizure last night. He was curled up in bed with Chris and I was in the office when all of a sudden I heard her yelling my name. I went running into the bedroom and saw him all curled up and rigid. He was completely out of it. I have witnessed many people seizures and after effects so what I saw with Benson made me think this was a seizure.

Chris went into the kitchen to find a phone to call an emergency vet and I held Benson. He began moving his head and looking around and licking his lips. As I held him he began moving again and wanting to get off the bed.

He walked around looking quite lost for about half an hour and not acting like himself. Finally we all went back to bed and he curled up between us and went to sleep.

This morning he seems like his old self, quiet and gentle little Ben. He's a tender hearted cat and easily scared.

Pets are wonderful additions to our home and it's hard to watch any one of them suffer. Say a prayer for Benson today ok? Thanks.

New Years 2011

We had a fabulous time at the Oregon Coast. Although I have been there many many times I have never been in the middle of winter. It was sunny and clear and the coast was as amazing to see in the winter as it is in the summer. We may have had to dress a little warmer but it was worth it. There were still lots of people walking and riding their bikes, walking their dogs and children, sight seeing and enjoying time together.

We stayed in a little condo on the beach and it was comfortable and warm. What a relaxing time.

Every morning I opened the blinds to see the sun shining brightly on the water. Waves crashing onto the shore. At night we saw the most spectacular sunsets as the glow of the bright orange sun lingered on the horizon.

We celebrated 7 years together and talked about our future as we shared new goals and dreams together. It's good to go away and just spend time with each other without outside distractions.

As the door to the closet opens wider and wider in my world I am thinking of just bursting it wide open on FB. I am pretty sure of the reaction of some of my former Bible College/Church friends from Hawaii and expect that many of them will unfriend me. Some may write to me to preach and tell me to turn from my wicked ways. There may be those who will accept me as the friend they've always known and loved and who cares about my sexuality? I don't care about theirs.....but that's a whole other story.

Here's to 2011..........a new year. Living life out loud.