Happy New Year!

 

and this is Christmas.........

What a year! 
2012 was quite a year! I know I say that every year, or so it seems, but really, 2012 was it. Here is a highlight of the year...

In January we went on a weekend staycation in Vancouver, celebrating our years together. We love Vancouver and enjoyed a weekend in the city, taking in the sights and sounds, celebrating our 8th unofficial anniversary.

February brought the news that my step-father Paul was rapidly declining. He had a severe stroke leaving him totally unaware of everything around him. He went into a coma for a few days and then slipped away peacefully to meet the Lord. He was 88 years old. He was my Moms husband for 13 years. A warm, kind, loving man, he is missed.

And then came March. Just a week after we had wished my oldest nephew Derek a Happy 35th Birthday, we got the terrible news that he was dead. It came as a complete shock and it still is hard to say. We had seen Derek at Christmas and all seemed to be well with him. Losing Derek was one of the hardest things we have walked through. There were 2 services to honour him. His friends came by the dozens to pay tribute to him as he was well known in the downtown scene. I miss him so much. We all miss him.

April brought sunshine and a week on the Oregon Coast, a time away from the sadness of the spring. Being at the seashore brings healing to the soul and we soaked up our time there.

We celebrated our birthdays in May, sharing special moments with my mom.



The summer was busy with wedding plans as time quickly marched on. Its good to be organized when planning a wedding and we were happy that we had planned so many things well in advance. Days flew by as details took place.

Sept 9 was the Big Day! And what a day it was. We had unexpected blessings when people showed up to help set up and worked hard to make our day special. It was a fabulous day and we were both blessed to have our parents there. Our attendants were wonderful and put up with us making them work so hard.

We took off for Europe and the Mediterranean. What a fabulous trip! My cousins in Holland were so hospitable and we enjoyed our time with them. I have alot of cousins but only saw a few this trip. I really wanted to see my sweet auntie and my cousins made it happen. It was the greatest gift anyone could have ever given me.

We flew to Barcelona and then embarked on the Splendida! Wow, it was pretty spectacular. We had so much fun and saw so many sights in so little time. One week sure flies by fast! Tunisia, Malta, 3 stops in Italy and back to Barcelona.

And now its Christmas. We wish all of you a Merry Christmas and all of Gods blessings in 2013. Celebrate the love of a Savior born in a stable. Hug your loved ones, hold them close. Life is short, tell someone you love them. Make every day count. Much love from our house to yours,

Joan and Chris







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Its Been Awhile!

Where does the time go!  It has been so long since i have blogged I could hardly remember my own password. 

So, to bring you all up to date, we got married!  I know!  After 9 years of living together, loving each other and making each other laugh every day we made it official.  We have a certificate and everything!

The Rs and Vs got together for a family photo

What a beautiful day it was.  We rented the community centre close by our house.  Brand new facility and absolutely gorgeous. Our friends came early to help us set up and did a spectacular job.

Chris had her best friend Diana as her attendant and I had my friend Becky who flew in from Hawaii for the weekend just to be by my side.

My childhood friend Susan and her mom reunited with my mom and I.

Friends since childhood, Michelle and Susan

Thanking our attendants.

It was a wonderful day.  So much love and support from our family and friends.  We couldnt have asked for anything more.

Derek

one week ago my oldest nephew Derek was found dead in his apartment. what a shock. how do you process that kind of news. he was 35 years old.

the weekend was filled with celebration of his life, his love, his talents and the story of Derek.

Mr. Paul

My step father Paul passed away on Saturday. He was 88 years old and had a massive stroke on Wednesday. By Friday he was in a coma and slipped away quietly Saturday morning.

Paul and BB married in 1998. Paul had been married a few times before. Divorced once, widowed twice. My mom was his second dutch wife. He said he came trained. Good thing.

Paul and BB had 8 happy years living together until the dementia took over Pauls life and he was unable to live at home anymore requiring full time care.

I loved Paul. He was funny, smart, generous, kind and treated my mom like a queen. He was a Pastor, Evangelist, Missionary and lived to serve Jesus.

Though you were gone a long time ago Paul we still will miss you.

engaged!

amazing excitement.

chris and i went to hawaii for vacation and the greatest surprise in the world happened.
sitting on the lanai, enjoying the beauty of the ocean, admiring the palm trees, watching the surfers, drinking my coke and she hands me a card.

we have always given each other cards. for special occasions and not. just because. sometimes we read cards to each other in the store. just for fun.

i opened the card. then i realized it was personal. it was just for me. it was the story of us. how we grew up on opposite ends of the country and one day we joined our hearts together.

and then the question.

she asked me to marry her and

i said YES!

yes to the rest of my life as us.

And we're back! What a great week! We spent a week in Kelowna and had a lot of fun. There are so many wineries to pick from so we chose 3 of our faves to go and have a tour or tasting. Interesting process to watch. Met lots of nice people who were doing the same thing.


Boat cruise on the lake with live jazz one night. The weather was perfect. Music was great and the food was excellent.

After we left Kelowna we drove through OK Falls and onto Osoyoos. Stayed at a wonderful place right across the street from the lake. The Canucks game was on so we watched that and cheered our team to victory!

It's back to work now but it sure was nice to have a week off.

It's time for a break. The past few months have been such a blur of travelling back and forth to Abby, back and forth to work full time, back on night shift and not seeing each other Monday to Friday, we need a break.

So, thanks to the generosity of my friend Christine we are heading to Kelowna to use her time share for the week. Pray for nice weather. Time to relax, renew, refresh and just hang out with each other, doing what we do best.

Aloha!

No, not Hawaii (for now) but the Okanagan. But the picture was taken in Hawaii at one of my fave hang-outs, Moose's.

Happy Mother's Day

Mother's Day has always been special with BB and I as I was born on Mother's Day. Every so many years my birthday falls on MD but we always have had a special celebration because of it. Chris's birthday is May 4 so since she's been around we have made it a 3 way celebration.

Chris and BB have been friends from the start. I've started reading some of BB's journals and I found the entry for the first time she met Chris. It said "met Chris today, she is very nice, fits nicely in our family". And that's a compliment! Chris has always treated my mom with a great deal of love and respect and over these past couple of months without my mom knowing it, Chris has given me a great deal of emotional support. She's taken time off work to be with us as BB transitioned to the Facility, spent countless hours in the hospital visiting her and has been to visit her when I haven't been able to.

I am thankful for a Godly, loving mom that I have known all of these years. She raised me in the love of the Lord and learning how to do things "proper" BB has a wonderful sense of humour and even now as her mind is quickly fading away her humour is constant making nurses laugh.

This is a different Mother's Day for sure, the first one with a mother present in body but not in mind.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. I love you very much.

Life just seems to be moving so fast these days. I can't keep up. BB had another fall and now has a giant goose egg on the back of her head. She isn't sleeping at night so they've put her in a private room hoping that the quietness will give her some peace. She's very restless and has a hard time making sentences make sense at all. They've diagnosed her with Alzheimers so she's getting medication for that.

I'm now looking at putting her on a list to get to a facility closer to my home. She has always wanted to stay in Abbotsford where she has lived the past 27 years because she loves it there and has a wide social network. But now she doesn't seem to know any of her friends or recognize that they have visited.

Now it's time to let go of her apartment and close that chapter of her life. Very sad.
I'm not sure what the next step should be. Oh Lord, give me wisdom.

Becky came for an unexpected visit this weekend. What a joy this little dog is. Her presence lights up a room. When we were visiting my mom in the Hospital a couple of weeks ago Becky was with us. We pushed BB's w/c to the lobby/seating area and little bb did her very best to bring cheer and life to a frail old lady.

2 very special BB's. One in a Care Facility looking out the window wondering when the Lord will take her home. And one little bb bringing life and light to the darkness with her sweet spirit and gentle nature.

God has put some really special people in my life and I am thankful for friends who send me encouraging notes, phone calls, visits just to say they love me. Chris is amazing and I am forever thankful for her strong support.

Loving all of you.

Because He lives I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives all fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
My life is worth the living
Just because He lives.

BB went into a full time extended health facility yesterday. it was one of the hardest days of my life. Leaving her behind to find her way in her new place without any familiarity. She's so confused. A shadow of her former self.

I signed the papers today with the powers that be and went home and had a good cry.

Not a great day. Bless BB Lord. Give her strength for this new path to follow. She belongs to You. You alone are her Rock and Shield.

Lost in Translation

Yesterday I got an email from a cousin in Holland asking about my mom's health. I had to laugh. I had written a cousin from the other side of the family to let my dad's side know what was up with BB. The only contact I have there is with my aunt who doesn't speak any English. My cousin was nice enough to write her a note.

My aunt was of course wanting more information so knowing her son speaks some English, got him to write me.

What I received was..."we hear it is difficult for Tante B who has fallen. Also she is now mentally retarded."

Not quite what I was thinking.......yesterday Chris went on her own to visit her. BB told her all about the orchards she was planting. Gotta love her. I appreciate Chris visiting her though and spending time with her.

BB is becoming a shadow of her former self. She's losing her mental capabilities as well as her physical. Her memory is quickly fading and she's asking questions that she well knows the answer to.

Yesterday we were sitting in the lobby of the hospital talking about Hawaii and how she likes to sit in the lobby of the hotel where we stay and all of a sudden she says ' how come John hasn't come to visit me?' I just looked at her and said, "really Mom? do you remember what happened to John?" then she started to cry as she remembered he passed away.

She has a very good team of social workers, OT, PT, Dr.s and Health Care Liasons. We are praying for the very best spot to open up for her.

BB, be at peace. God has it all under control.

BB has now moved to Acute Care for Elderly, the ACE ward. She has a private room and more nursing care. She will stay there until there is room for her in rehab somewhere else.

She is more confused and anxious about why she's there than anything else. I have been to the hospital every day and getting a little weary. Next week I will have to taper my visits down to every other day because the following week I am going back to work on a graduated basis.

So much life happening around here right now. Lord, give us strength.

BB is in hospital after suffering a fall last week. She has a fractured pelvis (in 2 places) so we are at a loss right now as to what will happen next. The only thing we know for sure is that she cannot live alone any longer.

Life has changed for her. No more independance. I pray that this time of her life will be less painful for her than she imagined. She has always dreaded this day. The day when she could no longer get up and get herself a cup of coffee.

BB you fought a good fight, the battle isn't over yet and the victory isn't yours. Not yet.

BB is staying with a friend who provides care in her home for seniors. I don't know how long she will be there - it may turn into long term, we'll have to assess the situation later. I am waiting to talk to the Health Care Nurse for an official assessment to see what resources are available to her.

Chris has been amazing and I appreciate her support so much. I know she doesn't always agree with decisions being made concerning my mom but she stands by me and loves me through it all. I am very thankful for her.

So much confusion for the old girl. She couldn't get her phone to work on Monday, couldn't get anyone on the phone, very mixed up and very tired of being confused. She's just tired of everything.

One of her favorite songs is an old gospel hymn " I know not what the future holds but I know who holds the future". So true in this time of her life.

Be at peace BB, God's got it all under control.

BB

For the past little while I have noticed a change in my mom, BB. She often gets confused and mixed up about the little things in life, never mind the bigger things. She's depressed and getting quite withdrawn, preferring to live in her own little world.

Then I noticed her prescription for her thyroid pills hadn't been filled and I thought they should have. She has been on thyroid rx since I was young. No other meds, just thyroid. So I asked her about them. And the answer I got wasn't very positive so I took things in my own hands and got her prescription filled.

That was Wednesday. Yesterday as we were just heading out the door for breakfast I got a panicky phone call from the lady who picks my mom up for church. She was at my mom's door and the neighbour let her in when she didn't respond to the loud pounding on the door. Only to find my mom laying in bed not wanting to wake up. So not like BB, who has always been a morning person.

After awhile we were able to get her up and moving around. I gave her a nice hot shower and washed her hair and put her back into some clean night clothes. Chris changed the sheets on her bed and we made her some dinner.

So confused, so mixed up, doesn't know where she is sometimes. And it's just so hard seeing her like this, knowing this is the end of her life.

Love you BB.

"May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content with yourself just the way you are.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us."