Craziness

Since we've decided to put our house on the market we've been out looking at other people's homes. As potential buyers we look for size, the shape it's in, the location, stuff that's important to us. We've seen lots and it amazes me the amount of work people put into selling a home. Or not. Some homes are like walking into a magazine show place...oooh, ahhhh, very nice. Some, not so much. Like, you did know you were having people through your home this afternoon didn't you? Flushing toilets is always a good way to start freshening up your home. Little tip for ya.

Yesterday I THINK we saw it all! We went on a tour of homes available that meet the criteria of our wish list. Our realtor took us to see a few units that we really liked (especially the first one). AND THEN. She said, "I have one that's fabulous, the only thing is it belongs to a 95 year old lady and it's a little cluttered." No biggee we said, we can handle clutter, we like old ladies, it'll be fine.

OMG! First, the people were home. Soooo much easier viewing homes when they're not home but oh well. This odd looking man opened the door to let us in and mumbled some apology about "you know, Mother's here with us, it's not very tidy". In amongst the piles of stuff that was everywhere was a recliner with a very old fragile looking lady. We said hello to her, no problem. Then I saw the Christmas tree. With all the lights on.

We kept moving. Strange man went and sat on the couch, old lady still in the recliner as we followed our realtor into the kitchen. She climbed over some more piles of stuff and said "Watch yourself" as we followed behind. There wasn't an inch of countertop space without something on it in the kitchen. Food everywhere, old magazines, stuff on top of stuff. Cupboards open and drawers spilling over.

Went to see the patio off the kitchen. Very nice. Private little patio across from a park. We could picture ourselves having coffee out there in the morning. Not so bad. We went back inside and the realtor started heading down a hallway and a lady called out "Not yet, don't come in" So we waited patiently outside a bedroom door until we got the word to 'come on in'. OMG.

We were in the master bedroom and a lady who appeared to be the daughter of the 95 year old lady was standing there who began apologizing. She thought we were coming the day before and they "worked until 5:00 before they realized they had the wrong day". I thought to myself, what was this place like before you worked on it? The master bedroom closet had a huge rack full of clothes. Unfortunately the rack wasn't strong enough for the large burden of clothes and it all laid on the floor. Everything, all of it, on the floor on top of the 122 pairs of shoes. But her wedding dress was hung up on the doorway! Whew, wouldn't want the wedding dress to get crunched! Then she showed us the bathroom and there was a coat in the bath tub and she told us that BC Hydro had a new policy of people wearing their coats in the bath tub and not using up so much hot water. Alrighty then, that's when I was starting to get scared. She went into the shower and pulled out a nylon coat that was hanging there and began to tell us this story that the coat was lined with possums when she got it and wasn't it beautiful. Well, really what can you say to that? "No crazy lady, your nylon coat isn't lined with possums?" I wasn't about to argue with her as I couldn't remember exactly where the nearest exit was at this point.

It just went downhill after that. By this time Chris was breaking out into a sweat and look of panic went across her face - that look that says "Get me out of here now"
Oh yeah, I can read her.

After the laundry room tour that included her telling us how she had painted it pink to make it nice (it wasn't pink at all)(and it wasn't nice) to showing us the second bedroom and all the tables in it because her husband can't see the clock at night and wakes her up to know what time it is. (Maybe that's her problem? Not enough sleep?) I don't know. I just know that by this time we were ready to scream and high tail it out of there. Our realtor was in stitches when we finally got ourselves out.

As we walked around the front of the building the crazy lady was standing on the patio waving to us saying "Have a nice day". Oh we will lady, now that we're not in your crazy house.

The sad thing is when we got home we looked up the listing and saw that it was a beautiful home, not cluttered at all when it got listed over a year ago. The clutter's happened since then and the poor old lady's probably slept through most of it while the crazy ones took over. It's been on the market for over a year. Nice place, just needed a little work. Oh, and the crazy people removed.